• Document: WHO SHOULD I MARRY? Kingsley Okonkwo
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WHO SHOULD I MARRY? Kingsley Okonkwo CONTENTS Preface Introduction Christ Character Capacity Companionship Compatibility Chemistry Complimentary Commitment Conviction Counselling Conclusion 2 PREFACE I have discovered a lot of people don’t really know the qualities to look out for in a spouse and the truth is you cannot blame them because they are not taught in school and most of our Parents; even those that know, might not be able to articulate the principles, let alone pass it on. Unfortunately, because a lot of people can’t really tell you the right qualities to look out for when choosing a partner, when they get into bad marriages, they start to send out the wrong messages. Without meaning to offend anyone, I am kind of tired of hearing people make marriage look like a war situation. The average married person just has stories of woes and you see as much as I want to relate with them, I can’t. The truth is, I am happily married; very happily married and you see the Bible says that God is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34) and is rich unto all that call upon Him (Rom 10:12). So if God has done it for one, there is no reason why He will not do it for another. That is why our slogan for our LOVE DATING AND MARRIAGE seminar is “You Can Have the Marriage of Your Dreams”. I believe it absolutely and I believe it was because I looked out for the right things when choosing a spouse and those are the things I want to share with you. The qualities that will help you make the choice that will give you a stress-free marriage. 3 Introduction One Sunday morning, my wife and I were on our way to church, and as we were driving on the highway, we suddenly noticed a brand new car which began to swerve, the car was swerving like the ones you see in the movies, I thought may be something was wrong and as we looked back, we saw a husband and wife fighting in a moving vehicle, when I say fighting, I don’t mean name calling, I mean real fighting, exchanging blows in a moving vehicle! by the time I looked back again the woman was on the driver’s seat of the car with the man who was still struggling to hold on to the steering wheel while punching her with the other hand. They were not in a parked car. Now, that is not the climax of the story, the sad part of it was their baby was in the car with somebody else, maybe their nanny, the person was at the back seat with the baby, can you imagine? They were ready to jeopardize the child’s safety and the life of the person at the back. This is my point: whether you like it or not, your decision to marry somebody will definitely affect other people. When you are choosing a husband: you are choosing the father of your children, likewise when you are choosing your wife, you are also choosing the mother of your children, that decision is a very serious one. If you marry right you are going to have a totally stress free marriage. The person you marry will affect the rest of your life. 4 When you are single your happiness and success; everything about you depends on you, once you are married, your partner matters. The rest of your life will be affected by who you marry, that is great power that God has put into our hands. The rest of your life if it’s going to be successful, if it is going to be full of joy or pain, it’s all dependent on who you marry. I have discovered that God did not put too many choices in our hands. I mean, when it comes to relatives, you didn’t choose your parents; we just arrived here and suddenly saw our parents. We didn’t have the choice; maybe some people would have chosen a rich millionaire. We also don’t get to choose our siblings; that’s why in some families we have some crazy siblings that will just keep you wondering if you are from the same family and we don’t also choose our children; we all meet at the hospital for the first time. If we had the option of choosing an offspring, who wouldn’t want a genius for a child? The only relative God allows us to choose is our spouse and unfortunately many don’t know anything about choosing one; many don’t know anything about how to choose a husband or a wife and like I said earlier, it’s not their fault. There is no official place where you are taught who to marry, schools don’t teach that and in most churches they don’t teach that either. I am trusting God that the ability to recognize a good spouse will be released to you as you read this book in the name of Jesus. When I talk to people sometimes, it becomes clearer that they don’t know what qualities to look out for in a spouse. I was watching a television show at home recently and a very nice 5 looking girl was being interviewed and she was asked, “Which kind of man would you like to marry?”,

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